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Compulsive sex is the fast food of relationships, and developing a taste for the slow-cooked meal may take some time.Here the experienced therapist can be of huge assistance by reminding the sex addict that dating is not a race, nor a competition, but rather an adventure into the complete unknown where everything the addict thought they knew about intimacy turned out to be false, and a whole new universe must open up in order to move forward. Before recovery, the sex addict made decisions independently, choosing who to date, whom to have sex with, who to contact and what acts to participate in.

Of course, these choices brought the addict much pain, and now post-recovery, he or she must tolerate a temporary loss of autonomy, sharing with a therapist, a 12-step group sponsor and even a support group the everyday minutia of their dating process.

Here the addict may long to keep just one or two secrets, but to do so would be counterproductive to the entire recovery process.

A valid question to ask, I think, because there are many wives who make this accusation of their husbands who are "constantly wanting to have sex with them".

This article stresses the need for transparency, but only with therapists, 12 step group members, and the like.

Regardless of the particular brand of sex addiction, this stage of reentry into the dating pool is critical for every sex addict.

It cannot be rushed, underestimated or faced alone anymore than the early emergency stages of recovery could be when the addict was hitting bottom.This time around, however, the addict has a true shot at real joy – if he or she can trust the process.Read more about healthy dating for sex addicts in my book "Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex in Recovery from Sex Addiction" and my daily meditation book "Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence"Sex addicts use behaviors rather than substances as coping mechanisms.With a dismal (and dubiously determined) recovery rate, it should be criminal to support dating efforts with people who have not been fully informed of what the sex addict brings to the table in terms of risk.The author never said potential victims don't deserve full disclosure.The group most critically in need of transparency from the sex addict - his or her potential partners - are completely ignored.These are the people who will ultimately pay the price should the sex addict act out or "fail" in seeking a happily ever after.Likewise for the woman who always seems to get involved with unavailable, married men, a truly present, drama-free suitor can be deemed ‘boring.’ These unique challenges can be overcome, of course, but the sex addict will have their work cut out for them. The sex addict is used to instant gratification, and may not have the patience to invest in a long term relationship that builds gradually through shared interests and time spent getting to know one another.This impossible ‘slowness’ that intimacy requires may frustrate and confuse the addict, who no doubt is in a rush to form a relationship after so many months spent healing in celibacy.Hi Autumn, My experience with slaa is that disclosure comes at a certain point when getting to know someone. Admitting to this kind of addiction is very different from substance addictions.Alcoholics often readily admit they're alcoholics - with great pride even, but it's a different thing for this program. I would not tell a potential partner that I'm in slaa until their trust has been *earned*.

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