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I'd end up on five or six dates in a week, sometimes scheduling Saturday brunch and dinner dates like a football player doing two-a-days to get in shape.

What would Pavlov say about a machine that lets you click a button and in return you might get the love of your life or a night of great sex? Sure, I had some apocalyptically bad dates, but most were a blast.

Don't just ignore her message—text her and explain directly (but gently) that it just didn't click for you. When I finally logged on, I found out that they were right: It's all of that. The number of profiles I could scroll through was overwhelming.

I have a job that sucks, but I won't bitch about it too much.

(Okay, maybe I will.) I'd like to tell you I hang glide and build soup kitchens in Haiti, but last Saturday I got drunk at home and watched an entire season of_ Gossip Girl_.

Have whoever's shooting step back just enough to get a three-fourths shot of your body."Urbinati: "White can wash out in photos, so if you're in shape, a simple well-fitting crew tee or Henley in gray is flattering and effortless.

To look more put together, try dark jeans, a slim-collar shirt, and a well-tailored suit jacket in gray—it reads more casual than black, less preppy than navy."Displaying your guts by completing questions like "On a typical Friday night I am..." and "I'm really good at..." will make you feel self-conscious and absurd— and that's normal.

It's a little weird at first, trusting a computer algorithm to pair you off.

But three weeks (and six dates) from now, you'll realize that online dating is, for better and worse, just like regular dating—and not, sadly, like ordering a pizza online. It's boring, but dating-site handles aren't eligible for the Pulitzer.

Besides, no lady has ever been swept off her feet by a pop-up box that says "Yo."Let's be honest: Online dating is a numbers game, and the majority of people you come across aren't going to work out for one reason or another.

Here's your getaway plan for every step along the way.

See, your profile isn't meant to make a stranger fall in love with you.

Once you're sitting in front of her with the less-than- 15-percent hair loss that she's handicapped your photo for, then you can really get to know each other—as two hormone-leaking, masochistic adults who want so badly to be in love again._—Mary H. Choi _You want to say you're an oenophile or fluent in Klingon? The beauty of online dating is that it's stocked with people on the ends of the bell curve—the kind you'd never find normally.

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    Feb 19, 2013. But three weeks and six dates from now, you'll realize that online dating is, for better and worse, just like regular dating—and not, sadly, like ordering a pizza online. 3. Don't Be That. What he actually means "I spend Friday nights doing vodka shots and watching porn until I pass out." His first message.…