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And if sports or working out are big parts of your life, then awesome — post that classic photo of you and your buds crawling through the mud to the finish line or playing volleyball or biking in that triathlon. But the sweaty guy pics and your bench press number can, um, stay at the gym. The Man Without A Face Ok, we totally get that you often wear sunglasses or hats when you are outside. Cheers to hipster apparel and protecting your skin and eyes from those harmful UV rays, right? Disclaimer: Again, please know that ALL of these are in good fun.
And where do first impressions take place in real life? So step away from the shower, hand your friend a camera, and let us see you in your best non-bathroom light. The Macho, Macho Man Sorry to break it to you guys, but we aren’t looking for tickets to the “gun show” in your profiles. Trust us, anything will be better than the awkward unidentifiable blonde hair on your shoulder. The Shirtless Just as your mother probably told you at age 3 — “Son, get your clothes back on!! If we meet you at a party or a wedding or a coffee shop, I’m pretty positive that you are always going to be fully dressed for that first impression. And I know that many of you No-Shave-November fans are in it for a good cause. The Beer Fanatic (Ok, I thought it’d be nice to include at least one decent photo of my friend, GQ-model, and extremely-good-sport, Nate.) But this final one is just a little reminder that your online dating profile should be advertising , not your favorite beer.
Nor pics of you dripping sweat (and smelling lovely, we’re sure) at the gym. So it seems reasonable for you to throw half-naked photos all over your profile is a wee bit perplexing, to say the least. The Hunter Bloody dead animals that you shot and killed and hold up as a trophy for the world to know that you know how to hunt? But unless it’s November, or unless you’re a super hipster who knows how to rock a mustache (and even that can be debatable), it’s probably best to play it safe and either go all (beard) or nothin’ (nothin’). I’m all for enjoying drinks with friends, and posting a photo or two to document said enjoyment is NBD.
And since this is digital dating, the only way to approximate what you’re like is to show your best self; i.e., not looking like a total slouch. The whole point of looking at your profile is to see what you’re “like” on an everyday basis.
I can’t even believe I have to even say this, but it appears I must: Prospective dates don’t want to know what you look like on a Sunday when you haven’t run a comb through your hair, or shaved, or put on a stitch of makeup. As a rule, women tend to fudge their weight while men fudge their height. Not one day when you decided to make yourself look weirder than usual. It’s not the worst idea in the world to get some nice shots done of you.
Ladies, if you’re showing a ton of stuff on your profile pics, or focusing in on specific anatomy, don’t be surprised when the guys who fill up your inbox are NOT the kind of guys you want relationships with. It’s great to showcase your interests, whether it’s skiing or apple-picking or rock climbing. Please don’t bother with a 50-yard shot of you on a mountain in a hat and glasses. We don’t really want to see what you did on your summer vacation; we want to see who we’ll be sitting and talking to for the better part of an hour. One man called in specifically to say he did not want to see a woman’s cats on her dating profile. Don’t introduce these human dramas into your profile. Don’t tell me those are all the pictures you have of yourself. If you’d like some help with your online profile–and dating in general–I have a few slots open for new coaching clients.
As long as we can see your face, a little context may add some interest, so sure, go for it. We get it, you like water sports—but you in gear does nothing for us. AND: New York locals; I have a photographer at the ready who can help you with some great shots.
So I created this blog full of simple, speedy, and irresistibly delicious recipes that are perfect for sharing with those you love.
A woman called into a radio show I was on recently, talking about online dating, and asked, “I heard all guys look at are the pictures. ” The undertone of this question-slash-fear is, “Are looks the only thing that matters to a guy? That’s like saying you shouldn’t ever have to make an effort and so, yeah, go on a first date without showering, wearing whatever you rolled out of bed in. Also, we weren’t there at the Halloween party and thus don’t know what a huge hit your Carrie costume was (though now we know what you look like covered in blood).
Nor do you need to highlight in every section of your bio that you workout, count “going to the gym” as your top hobby, or are “looking for a girl who values physical fitness”. So even if you have the best abs ever (and especially if you don’t), just be a gent and put your clothes on — some nice, buttoned-up, normal clothes that your mother would approve of. But when you’re holding a beer in everysinglephoto? So put your coozie down, and grab a glass of water every now and then.
Trust us, we think it’s super cool that you take care of yourself and stay in shape. You know, gotta stay hydrated after those other beers…