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Meet friends online not dating
During the month that I used social dating apps to find new buddies, I sent countless unrequited salutations, offered up priceless New York City travel recommendations, and even gave my number to a guy who wanted to discuss first amendment rights. When I started, I believed that, with millions of people just searching for company online, I'd easily find my new bestie or at least someone down for a platonic hang.A friend finder app, after all, didn't seem too far away with Tinder for cats and other spin-off matching services debuting. Lyke Me, an app three Michigan State University students have designed to match people based on interests, is launching this fall.) On a personal level, I wanted more friends.
"The co-founders wanted to create a really efficient way to meet people around you who you probably would have never met before."The "show me men versus women" option the app provides is "exactly what it says," Pambakian explains.
"We're not asking you to define what you're interested in." Yet I joined right in creating the user subtext.
But I ended up hating them for dating because of their "all or nothing" protocol.
The ample matches I'd make would either a) never talk to me or b) always and incessantly talk to me and get upset if I didn't reply as rapidly or enthusiastically.
"I was serious when I said I'm just looking for friends on my profile.
You're so nice, and I don't want to lead you on in any way.So I filled out my profiles honestly, noting in each I was not looking to date, "only make friends :)." This practice got trickier on more information-intensive apps—I literally responded to Coffee Meets Bagel's "I like it when my date…" query with a "doesn't want to date me. But Laurie Davis, author of and an online dating consultant, later told me that strategy was all wrong: Being direct was the kiss of death."If you're looking for friends, I would just not write anything about that until the very end if they ask you a question about it," she said. "On OKCupid, they ask you 'you should message me if…' and I would say something really casual there like, 'You think having a drink would be fun.' Use words like 'fun,' which is an indicator of more for social than anything else." She didn't have a lot of faith in my whole friend-getting scheme, really.He asked me if I wanted to hang out, and I said sure."Just want to give you a heads up, though," I wrote.I moved to New York less than two years ago and have been trying to expand my circle as I build roots in the city.As a very extroverted person, I believe the more people around, the merrier (and richer) life is.Turns out the apps didn't create that restriction though: we did.On Tinder particularly, "The purpose was never just for dating, it was for social discovery in general," Rosette Pambakian, vice president of communications for the app, told me."As someone who's single, I wouldn't suggest [you] joining a dating site if you're really not interested in dating anyone at least casually," she said. I thought my "friends only" profiles would be the measure of this: The people who swiped right on me after reading them would understand and accept my terms.I jumped in swiping myself and found, to my surprise, a lot of guys were cool with my rule.