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The ladies certainly wouldn't treat Chat the same way; they'd be euphemistic and vaguely lyrical (I hoped) while the males were doing something close to grunting. From a female standpoint, that might be seen as one romantic step away from being spirited into a van.Less darkly, what happened to the good old dinner party, the comically bad set-up date, the meet-cute fender bender? I'd soon learn that grinders weren't always bathroom-trysting and Rusty Tromboning and doing Japanese nose-torture on each other.

As any grinder knows, someone who doesn't supply even a fake or a ridiculously old pic is to be shunned at all costs.

And whoever hooks up with a guy who spends his 120 profile characters praising his own hunky looks or demanding "Whites only" gets what he deserves.

" (I spelled it all out, eschewing the "R U," because, you know, being said!

—would often die in a quick and merciful way, but many Chats ended with an agreed-to meeting place, which was unusually convenient for both of us since, by the very nature of this whole game, we lived within a block of each other.

So a whole dumb show would ensue, in which we silently gestured at each other across the café or bar—first quizzically, then in some weird, fake recognition, as if, oh, how we went back, such memories, and things like that. It's a mad ambition, and I had no idea if Blendr would work.

Then I would get to the point and ask him what in the hell this app really was. Is this the way straight men and women—especially straight women—want to meet and mate?

The Grindr users I knew and know had impeccable straight-dar.

Even in Chats, almost everyone eventually asked me if I was gay.

It was a revelation: "I could In June 2008, when Apple unveiled the i Phone 3G, it blew the mind of every techie in this country.

The app store meant that there was suddenly a new industry out there—a thousand new industries.

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