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The result: a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself. Let’s go: Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs.

Our negative correlation list is a fool’s lexicon: was also a successful word, but much less so (33%).

We’re presenting just a smattering: in fact every “niche” word that we have significant data on has a positive effect on messaging., no doubt because of its adverbial meaning of “to a fair degree; moderately” also helps male messages.

A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.

We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.

Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.

Despite a few duds and near misses, her perseverance—plus an online connection seven years later that resulted in a marriage proposal—would eventually reaffirm her belief that online dating is an ideal way to make a real connection with another person."Meeting someone in a bar never quite worked out," she says.

Your headline should answer a basic question such as "What am I looking for?Use those photos for the supplemental pictures."Update photos as much as possible.An hour or so into the date, he looks me straight in the eyes and says: ' You have got to stop touching your hair because it's driving me crazy.It can help your love life, and, besides, if there really was a god, wouldn’t first messages Though this post talks in detail about the content of people’s messages on Ok Cupid, all messages have been anonymized, with sender and recipient data and all IP and timestamp information stripped out.In addition, our analysis program looked at messages only two or three words at a time, to track the success of certain words or phrases (like “what’s up” vs. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data.Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.You might think that words like are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.Maybe they set a more casual tone that people prefer, though I have to say, You had me at ‘what’s up’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.There are many words on the effective end of our list like (double yes!We know that’s going to piss a lot of people off, and we’re more or less tongue-in-cheek with this advice, but it’s what the numbers say.does help a person get noticed (reply rate 56%), but maybe that shouldn’t be a surprise on a site that is itself named for a member of the Classical pantheon.

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