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She is upset about her day at school, but it has nothing to do with the boy. And so the spiral deepens, each of their reactions feeding the other's. The conflict was entirely manufactured, and in his case, a self-fulfilling prophesy. Your task is to see the truth of what is happening in the following seven situations.

Worried, the boy asks whether she is upset at something he did. He asks again, not really believing the answer (because of his fear). Now the boy is worried even more, because his initial fear appears to be true. With these lessons in hand, you can react to the truth of a moment and break the spirals soon after they begin.

: It easier for an INTP to perform around a small group of people, because the INTP can deliver snippets of wittiness directed at each person in turn and entertain the group without having to focus entirely on any one person.

It's an easy approach using basic skills and doesn't require deeper knowledge or comfort with the people involved.

Your INTP will be very interested in fairness, understanding, and doing hard work. That's why they learn to suppress it, withdraw from it, and safely pack it away. And we want to make sure that emotion is all about you!

He or she will want to understand your wants, needs, and love language and should be very willing to meet you in the middle. (In a good way, of course.) If an INTP is taking the initiative to talk to you, especially with deeper, more complex, and probing conversation, he or she likes you and wants to get to know you better. And if he or she seems to be actively seeking you out for these beyond-small-talk conversations, then he or she probably already has a crush on you. Your crushing INTP will have thought through all sorts of imaginary conversations and interactions with you as a way of trying predict who you are, how you'll respond, and how best to approach you and succeed.

INTPs feel emotion very intensely, even if you don't think they show it. Also, if your INTP seems very nervous and tongue tied around you, the crush is immediate and strong.

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Your INTP has no confidence in how to handle that emotion (or you) and is coming a bit unglued in your presence.

It either unfolds naturally or disintegrates quickly.

The interaction will be more meaningful than in a group.

This chapter is focused on understanding INTPs and addressing needs.

That fact is not meant to suggest that the relationship is all about the INTP.

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