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Dating after divorce red flags
While you may have help that frees you up for the occasional vacation, dating with kids at different ages and stages can pose logistical and financial challenges, much like age-stage differences in the couple itself.
Red Flag 4: He Expresses Concerns listen if he says he isn’t interested in helping to parent your kids, he’s tired of you only being available for a weekend relationship, or he can’t afford to pick up the financial slack for a single mother with children. So do Johnnie and Janie, Fido and Tabby, not to mention the hamsters, Mutt and Jeff.
He took on the work of trying to solve issues that were never his to begin with.
Today, EJ has been happily married to his third wife for more than ten years and has a great relationship with his kids and growing group of grandchildren.
But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation.
Red Flag 3: Age and Stage If you each have children at different stages – for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college – anticipate some potential problems if you’re hoping for a long-term relationship.
So here goes – one single mother’s set of red flags when it comes to dating divorced men, culled from a very long decade of post-marital dating experience.
Red Flag 1: Beware the Rebound: be careful of the divorced man who is only recently out of his marriage.What isn’t normal or healthy, however, is when those conversations start to become the only ones you’re having anymore, and you’re starting to feel like talking to him is getting to be a real downer.If you find yourselves talking, night after night, about his feelings surrounding his divorce, and if you realize you are wiping his tears more often than you are laughing or having fun together, it could be a sign that he’s still very preoccupied with his previous relationship and not emotionally ready for a new relationship with you..By the time we met, EJ was financially strapped, his relationship with his kids was in trouble, and he doubted he could trust a woman ever again.There was nothing EJ could do to change the situation he was in; he was responsible for paying alimony, child support and his ex-wife’s debt.If you found the previous article on relationship red flags for dating the divorced man helpful, here are seven more red flags that you should keep a look out for if you are trying to choose relationships that will have the greatest likelihood of success and happiness.Raise your relationship red flag radar if: In a perfect world, by the time you enter into a relationship with a divorced man, he would have already done the work necessary to heal from his divorce and move on from his previous relationship.We all need time to heal and pay attention to what your kids think of him, and what his kids think of you.Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.He recognized that by trying to always be the “good guy,” he let people take advantage of him.He ignored the red flags in his relationships because he always wanted to see the best in people.