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Dating a man with kids and feeling left out

He was married for 13 years and has three biological children (21, 19, and 17) and an adopted daughter turning 7 (he is divorced because his ex cheated on him and got pregnant but he decided to adopt the child so that she would have a father and to maintain parental continuity in his family).He has been divorced for six years, I’m his first serious girlfriend since, and we talk about marriage all the time.Over time, it has really affected me and we have been getting in huge fights because of it (but, of course, I’m “nagging” and being a “drama queen”).

So once again, I was left alone on the weekend with broken plans. Unless you think his role as a “great dad” is indicative of his role as a boyfriend — and it surely doesn’t seem to be!

I want to note that our personalities are a great match and that he’s a great father. I’ve tried to move on several times but he always ends up convincing me to stay or to give it another shot. — Dating a Great Dad, Bad Boyfriend So, your boyfriend’s a “great dad.” Well, la di, fuckin’ da. I mean, that’s great for his kids and all, of course, but what’s in it for you? — or as a husband or as a father to your potential kids together, it doesn’t mean diddly squat except that there’s one role in his life he doesn’t suck at.

The problem is that he just might not be that great of boyfriend at his current stage in life.

Right now, I feel like I am doing anywhere between 70-90 percent of the effort in maintaining our relationship.

You said yourself, he may be a great dad and a great ex-husband and all that, but he’s a pretty terrible boyfriend. He keeps you in a box, separate from his family and friends. That and a dollar won’t buy you a styrofoam cup of coffee.

joe flacco dating - Dating a man with kids and feeling left out

He puts almost zero effort into maintaining your relationship. There has to be more to a relationship than well-matched personalities. You asked what I would do and it’s this: I’d break up with him and tell him exactly WHY I was breaking up with him.I feel like a terrible person for being jealous of his kids and ex who uses him as an on-call taxi and babysitter; I feel terrible about all the arguments we have had over this, but he makes continual promises that he just doesn’t keep, and I’m so sick of hearing “We will eventually” and “I’m not dying tomorrow” and “I’m not going anywhere” and “I’m sorry I can’t control the situation — it just came up.” I really need some unbiased advice. How do you move on from someone you completely love, whom you have told everything to, who’s a great father, a generally good person? Throughout your letter you kept waving that “great dad” flag like it means something, but what does it mean? Too bad for you that role isn’t “boyfriend.” Honestly, unless you are considering having kids with this man some day, the idea that he’s a great father has pretty little to do with you, especially considering he has yet to even introduce you to any of his four children after 13 months together.And if you ARE thinking of having kids with this man, does he know that?For example, when I was really sick he couldn’t be there for me cause he had to pick his daughter up, yet I was there for him when he was sick.He missed my birthday for a doctors appointment (I know he has kidney stones, but come on).I feel guilty for trying to take time or money away from them, but at the same time I feel like I’m always the one sacrificing.He always tells me he loves me and can’t live without me but I always come last.Because if he doesn’t, and if you, at 28, want your own children eventually, this relationship is pointless.But beyond the idea of future kids, it just doesn’t sound like this is the man for you right now. Because he has a fun personality that meshes well with yours?In all your discussions about marriage and your future together, have you broached the topic of future children?Does this 38-year-old man who already has four children, three of whom are practically grown, even have the slightest interest in starting all over again with more babies?

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