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He claims that there's nothing adulterous about this kind of activity. It seems to us that you're actually wrestling with two separate issues.

According to him, it's just another form of sexual fantasy. First, does so-called "cybersex" differ in any significant way from simple sexual fantasy?

You're also on target in supposing that what is true of mental fantasy is probably even more directly applicable in cases of "virtual" activity.

But having said this, we feel compelled to ask-is "grounds for divorce" the point?

Hold the line, keep your dignity, and stay on your knees.

Whatever you do, resist the temptation to get caught up in petty arguments about "grounds for divorce." That will only cloud the issue.

Because "virtual reality" is such a new and relatively untested phenomenon, it's difficult to know exactly what it to different people.

How is it perceived and experienced, physically, mentally, and emotionally, on the individual level?Even if you had caught your husband in bed with another woman, we wouldn't necessarily recommend that you divorce him.Much depends on the degree to which he regrets his actions.Is he repentant and willing to change his behavior? You should also find out if your spouse's involvement with "cybersex" is part of a larger pattern of behavior.If it part of a bigger syndrome, there are other questions you should be raising before jumping to the conclusion that it's time to get a divorce. Is the abuse so severe that you feel as if your personal safety (and that of your children, if you have any) is being compromised? Meanwhile, we'd encourage you to confront your husband about his unacceptable behavior.As we see it, there are no straightforward, cut-and-dried answers to either of these questions.You can see this clearly if you stop and think for a moment about the first part of your problem.It's true that many "virtual" sexual encounters are kept strictly anonymous. Sometimes participants, egged on by the intensity of their feelings, take the next step by exchanging personal information.When this happens, there is a strong possibility that the affair will eventually take a very real and physical turn indeed.That's because "relationship" at any level implies a degree of emotional entanglement.When the heart gets drawn into the web, there's a greater potential for pathology.

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