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Holidays are to: Marbella where they hire out a yacht.

The girls spend the whole time in kaftans, bikinis and heels.

Often dreams about strangling him to death on that stupid swivel chair of his. He drinks too much Rum and when he throws up his dad tells him to "man up".

Guys wear aviator sunnies, teeny tiny swimming trunks.

All of them shag people they already know from back home. Posh because: Their dad is the CEO of an energy company.

well yes he does pay my rent but…" Nights out involve: They don't go out.

Can be found sweating over a textbook with a cheap library cafe coffee in an attempt to quell their in built superiority complex fostered by their Dads' success.

Will take you to eat halloumi chips at a street food pop-up before boring you to death with the details of his latest app idea.

Holidays are to: New York for "business meetings" aka sits on a Macbook in a cafe emailing his Dad's friends.

They wear: Goes everywhere with a Macbook, wears beanies, New Balance trainers, Herschel backpacks, always has artfully shaded stubble, rides a scooter to work and has flirted with the idea of getting a Segway.

After years slogging it out in the studio (my bedroom) I am finally being recognised for my talents and I can now announce I've officially been signed to a proper international DJ agency: @coalitiontalent Link in my Bio.

They wear: Beige Dickie trousers, fleeces from Supreme, plain white t-shirts that cost eighty quid from Alexander Wang, small thin hoop earrings, a duffle bag from some literature festival they went to.

They say: "I love the juxtaposition of the light and dark, really brings out the symbolism of death".

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